Put Your Mask on First and Then Help Others

I didn’t grow up dreaming of being married and having children. I just didn’t. I didn’t want kids of my own. I saw how selfless my mom was and I just didn’t think I could give up so much of myself to be a mom and wife like she did.  I could not imagine loving someone so much that I would eventually want to have his child or children. That was just absolutely ludicrous to me, like so out of my world, pure craziness.

Fast forward 20 some odd years and I find myself a wife and a mother of two. For the longest time I felt tremendous guilt that I preferred to work outside of the home than to stay home with my kiddos.  Even though I had these two beautiful healthy children who I love more then life itself, I need to contribute to the family income and I need the adult interaction. I posses such a strong sense of independence but at the same time, such mountain size feelings of guilt that being a mom wasn’t all that I wanted. Did I just say that out loud? (or type that?) Yes. I. Did.  I found that I am happiest when I am able to make money and have my own identity.  I know it is such a taboo for a woman with kids to feel this way, I totally get it.  I look at it this way, you only have one shot at the “life” thing, so if working and parenting work out best for me, so be it. If not working and parenting works best for you, than fantastic. Accept the differences in lifestyles and move on.

Over the years I learned that I had to ignore the outside noise and listen to Camille. Really listen to myself.  You know right before take-off the flight attendant gives you the the in-flight emergency instructions? I believe one instruction is to put your oxygen mask on first and then to help others around you, even your children!  When I flew with my infant daughter for the first time, I thought, no way in hell will I put my mask on then hers. It’s all about her. Over time, I learned that by me putting on my mask first, is exactly what I need to do before I can help others especially my kiddos.

Putting on your mask first is such a powerful message, isn’t it?  Think about it. It applies to parents, teachers, business leaders, entrepreneurs and just about everyone in every profession you can imagine. I have seen wonderful people get burned in the business world because they were so busy putting on everyone else’s mask that when they needed someone to help them with their mask,  no one was there to help them.  It’s a tough lesson to swallow.Take care of yourself sounds selfish, but you have to take care of yourself to take care of others. In the past business I ran, I worked so hard and diligently to help others build their business that I didn’t help myself build one for myself.  As a parent and not putting my oxygen mask on first, I did a disservice to my children. I have to take care of me to be a better parent to them. That is the least I can do for them.  On any given day, it is pure chaos in my house. You know how it goes, one kid talking to you, another throwing a ball across the house repeatedly, TV is blaring in the background, dog is barking to come back in the house and the husband texting you to ask what we are having for dinner. I really don’t mind the chaos, as long as my oxygen mask is FULL and ON!!

Just a couple main points that I want you to get from this blog.  It’s OK to drown out your family, friends and society’s thoughts and comments about how they live their lives and opinions on how you should live yours. We are all different, accept the beauty of not being like everyone else! Keep your oxygen tank full. When it is full, you can clearly see that it makes the most sense to help others after you helped yourself. The fuller your tank and the more secure your mask, the better parent, spouse, business partner and leader you will be. If filling your tank is exercise, then exercise. If filling your tank is working outside of the home then do it and so on. No one but you knows what fills your tank, but once you figure that out keep your mask secured and you will learn to let go of guilt, drown out everyone else’s noise and get on with your life!

My challenge to you is to figure out what fills your oxygen tank, put your mask on first and let me know how that goes. I can’t wait to hear all about it!

Until Next Time Peeps,

Camille

*Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a professional writer nor am I am proficient in where to place commas, when to italicize (or is it appropriate to italicize or use parenthesis?) and that my sentences are grammatically correct. I am merely releasing all the thoughts that are in my brain and sharing them with you. If you enjoy my posts GREAT but I know they are written with many errors. Taking a creative writing class or a grammar class is next on my “to do” list. I promise. I also like to use double and triple exclamation points!!!! (Sometimes 4!)

Rudy

Look, I don’t check my USPS mailbox as often as I should. When my parents are here during the winter, they check it daily. I don’t. I should, but I get 95% of all my bills online and pay them online. So, checking the actual mailbox is rare unless I am expecting something I ordered online!

So, today after a busy weekend, I stopped to empty out about a weeks’ worth of mail. Naturally, the box was stuffed and I was thankful that I had my car. I noticed an envelope from the Maricopa County Animal Control and Care. I was curious as to what they had sent me. Turns out they were sending me a past due notice on Rudy’s rabies vaccination. My eyes immediately filled up with tears. Rudy was our yellow lab that we had for four years and he hasn’t been gone for a year yet.  Last July, we found out he had a mass that surrounded his heart. The ONLY symptom he had was that his appetite slowed down. It was enough of a concern to bring him into the vet. After numerous X-Rays we learned that he had a mass. Well, soon after his diagnosis, his health declined quite rapidly.  After discussing our options for treatment with our vet we decided we would do what we could to keep him pain free for the rest of his life. Due to the location and size of the mass our vet couldn’t guarantee that Rudy would make through surgery to remove the mass. Even if we had thousands of dollars for the mass removal, the vet wasn’t sure if a surgery would even help him in the long run. But, she knew his quality of life just wouldn’t be wouldn’t be the same post-surgery. He was a class-A goofball; text book lab personality. He was the life of any family party but most of all he was the love of Aviana’s life. She loved that dog and he absolutely loved her back. If I didn’t see it myself, I would swear they had their own language!  When she would leave for school he watched her cross the park to her bus stop. He would pace and wine watching her walk away. It was pathetic! But man, he loved her!! And she him.

It is so hard for a family dog to die. I had my first dog Bella, at 21 and had her for 15 years. We had to put her down and that just about broke me. I couldn’t talk about her for almost 3 years. Anytime someone asked me about her, I had to turn to Jeff and he would do all the Bella talking. Then we had Luna the Black Lab for 14 years and although she lived for a long time it was just as hard to say goodbye to her as it was Bella.

Back to our Rudy though. It really hurts to lose your own dog, but it is so much worse to see your daughter’s heart break over the loss of her dog. Just that thought alone makes my eyes well up as I type. Awh man. We are so lucky to have had our time with Rudy. Out of his 10 years, we had him for the last 4 ½. We were lucky to have the free entertainment, his endless energy, and his forever happy overall zest for life but most of all his love. I hope one day Aviana will write children’s books or the next best seller like “Marley and Me” about her life with Rudy. He certainly gave us plenty of material for a great series of books, but I will leave that book for her to write. Amazing how just checking the mail can bring back a rash of emotions. Yay for Rudy and the other great family dogs we had! They will continue to live on in our hearts forever!

Till next time peeps….

*Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a professional writer nor am I am proficient in where to place commas, when to italicize (or is it appropriate to italicize or use parenthesis?) and that my sentences are grammatically correct. I am merely releasing all the thoughts that are in my brain and sharing them with you. If you enjoy my posts GREAT but I know they are written with many errors. Taking a creative writing class or a grammar class is next on my “to do” list. I promise. I also like to use double and triple exclamation points!!!! (Sometimes 4!)